An Eye Opener

I went with my kids today to visit some Myanmar refugee children.

It was the school holidays, and I felt it was a good idea to bring them to meet with these children. If not just for them to realize how lucky they were, also for them to simply play with the kids.

We arrived while a volunteer was telling the kids a story. While she spoke in English, we had a young Myanmarese lady named Lulu translating so the children would understand. Not long after story time, it was time for lunch.

The children had a simple meal of rice, with egg, chicken and noodles. Before they dug in, a lanky teenager (I forget his name) stood up to say grace in his native tongue. Although I didn't understand a word he said, I had to bow my head down to blink back the tears. Here he was offering thanks, while we, who have so much more, forget to take time to appreciate what we already have. Puts all my problems in perspective.

They offered me a plate of rice with a small piece of egg, and two tiny pieces of chicken. While that was hardly anything extraordinary, I was so touched. They already have so little to begin with, yet think nothing of sharing it with me - a complete stranger.

I crammed the food into my mouth, swallowing quickly because there it was again, that lump in my throat. I watched while the kids ate their lunch, laughing and playing - behaving as though there wasn't a care in the world. Which I suppose is a good thing. So that they can be as they should be - children.

One of the boys, Justin will be repatriated together with his family, to New Zealand at the end of the year. When asked if he was happy about going, he said he wasn't. In broken English, he said he'd be leaving his friends behind.

We left not too long after lunch. That visit was intended to open my children's eyes, but instead it opened mine. The children also opened my heart, and left an indelible mark. Indeed, I will be back to see them soon enough.

Langkawi

We have two family vacations each year.

One to Pulau Langkawi in August, and the other to Cameron Highlands usually at the end of the year. One to enjoy the sun and the sea. The other to take in the cold, crisp air in green surroundings.

This year, Anya and family, plus grandma came along. So we had a total of about ten people in our entourage. The four day vacation seemed a little short. I guess it was because we were having so much fun.

The days were spent without much regard for time.


On the second day, we took the cable car ride up to Gunung Mat Cincang. After the initial vertigo, we managed to take in the panoramic view of the island. It was breathtaking. After spending almost half the day up in the hills, we hit Langkawi Fair. Thankfully, the kids managed to catch some shut-eye on the way there. When we arrived, they were famished.

We tucked in to a nice local lunch, and then did some shopping. We stocked up on duty-free Nike and some Speedo gear for Little A.

The third day, the kids enjoyed themselves in the pool. Later the boys together with daddy built sandcastles on the beach. Mommy and Auntie B went to the spa, where we got a heavenly massage, and indulged in girl talk in the steam room.


Dinner was a much anticipated event. Everyone would be starving after the day's activities, and we'd stuff our faces silly. Dinner on the first night was at Coco Beach. Fresh seafood served on the beach at sunset. Ah... this is the life!

Dinner the second night was in the hotel Beach Restaurant, situated on slits on the sea. With waves lapping, and the sea breeze blowing, we wanted dinner to last forever. It was also my birthday, so daddy had the service staff bring us a slice of cake with a candle. Strollers, together with the entourage sang "Happy Birthday", and Little A, Little J and Baby K all blew out the lone candle.

What a great vacation!

A Post!

OK, so I have fallen off the wagon. I haven't posted anything for about three months now.

I didn't realize when I signed on to do this that there would be people (well-meaning?) hounding me.

"Waaaaa... no post after so long aaa?"

"Just wanted to check when you'd be writing in your blog?"

Give me a bit of time, I will get back on track.
No promises. Sometime soon, I hope. :-)

Maidless In Bandar Utama

Our maid Wasanthi left for home almost two weeks ago.

When she first expressed her desire to go home sometime in March, I almost had an anxiety attack. How was I going to cope with three kids (well, four if you count the "eldest" boy, i.e. daddy)? Who was going to keep the house in order? How was I going to go to work, get home and make sure dinner was on the table by 6pm? What about the boys' homework?

Undeterred, I was up for the challenge.

Now, one week and 4 days later, I am glad to say that the situation didn't turn out as bad as I had anticipated. In fact, because we don't have help, the boys have been doing their part - chipping in to pick up the laundry, or pick up their toys, feeding themselves and helping mommy take care of Baby K.

And because I still had to go to work, we enlisted daddy's help. Daddy stayed home with the kids on days I had to work. And I am proud to say daddy did a wonderful job those 2 days. He fed, bathed, changed, played, lulled and entertained the little ones. Little A had a glorious time, playing Lego with daddy. I'm sure he would prefer daddy to mommy being home anytime.

Having said all that, I can't wait for Wasanthi to come back - only two weeks and four days more!

Yet Another Birthday

We just had another birthday in the family - this time it's Little J's. He turned four yesterday.

For those of you who don't know Little J well, he is one of the easiest-going kids around. He goes along with anyone, any event and doesn't fuss about anything at all. One seriously accomodating child. It is indeed a pleasure to see him smile through whatever given situation.

Simple boy with simple tastes, Little J will grow up to be exactly like daddy.

I asked him about two weeks ago what kind of cake he wanted, and unlike any other child, he was unfazed. I had to literally show him pictures on various websites, and had to guide and lead him until he made a decision.

After his big brother Little A's birthday, Little J would ask, " Mommy, when is MY birthday?"

"Soon...."

"When is it?"

"After Anya's birthday" was a simple enough answer.

After having been told that, Little J would answer anyone who asked when his birthday was, "After Anya's birthday!" Never mind if they didn't know who Anya was.

Little J finally picked out a 3-D frog jelly cake after having combed through the few choices I had shortlisted for him. As his birthday drew nearer, he would periodically ask, "Is it my birthday yet?" followed by "When can we buy the frog cake?"

It had become tradition that the boys cut a cake at kindergarten on their birthdays. It would be the usual moist chocolate cake coated with smarties, courtesy of Grandma. Because Little J's birthday was on Saturday, we had the cake-cutting ceremony on friday.

On Saturday, he was impatient and wanted to blow more candles. Little J was badgering us throughout the day about where his cake was although we had explained to him that we would wait till dinner, when everyone was present.

"But I want to have my birthday (cake) now!!!"

"Later, sweetie..., at night after dinner."

"Now, I want my birthday (cake) in the morning!!!"

. . . And it went on like that till dinner.

All's well that ends well. Here's Little J and his frog.

Happy Birthday Little J! We love you.

Happy Birthday Anya!

Baby K loves playing with her cousin Anya. It's not like they actually play together as yet, more like parallel play, where they sit next to each other and play with their own toys and stuff.

Occasionally, Baby K would grab something Anya has, and Anya would turn around and snatch it right back.

It goes on like this for a while until one of them cries. Well, at least Baby K has someone to snatch things from!

Anya is about 4 months younger, and she recently turned one. We had lunch a week before her birthday because mommy and daddy and her were in Hong Kong for her actual birthday. What a lucky girl!

Happy Birthday Anya. May you have everything that you'll ever need to be happy always!

All Grown Up

My little girl is all grown up.

I was looking at some old photos - well, not exactly old. Photos of about a year ago of Baby K, and I realized she's so much bigger!

One would imagine that I, of all people - her mom- would notice how much and fast she's grown. On the contrary, seeing her everyday I am the last to realize how time has just zoomed right on by.

The same goes for Little A and J, both are little men in their own right. Boisterous and energetic, no doubt. Little A is intelligent, quick-witted, humourous, and protective of his younger siblings. Little J is funny, gracious, kind and giving.

I am indeed proud of my kids!

My Obsession

I have this thing for ballpoint pens.

I collect pens every opportunity I get. Not the fancy expensive Mont Blancs, but simply your plain old ballpoint. I buy them, take them from hotel check-in counters, from hotel rooms, from restaurants, from seminars I attend and anywhere else I can get them. I have a house full of ballpoint pens, yet I can't seem to stop myself from collecting more.

I think it might be a disorder, albeit not a serious one. I hope. After all, some people collect stamps while I collect ballpoint pens!

There has to be a reason why I am so obsessed with pens.

When I was growing up in this big house, we had everything we wanted and needed. We had two TVs, a piano, air-conditioning (back in the days when it was a big deal) but we had no ballpoint pens! For some reason, I could never find a single ballpoint pen in the house. Sure, we had a few pens. But most, if not all of these were not working, had no ink, or were simply broken. We had pens with dried and caked-up ink, or pens with half broken or cracked casings.

I figured it must have due to this imperfection in my childhood that has caused my to be so taken by pens. This is going to be something that I will carry with me right into my ripe old age. So if you're wondering what to give me for an occasion, forget expensive gifts - go buy a ballpoint pen. That is, if you really want to make my day!

The Tooth Fairy

Little A lost his first tooth a week into his sixth birthday. Coincidentally, it was the same one that popped out when he cut his first baby tooth at six months old.

Initially he was really sad. "I don't want people to laugh at me," was all he said, even after we had assured him that all his friends would go through the same stage.

And so, mommy had to spin a tale about the tooth fairy. I told him that after his tooth fell, he would need to put it under his pillow and the tooth fairy would come visit him. She would then leave him 50 sen in exchange for the tooth.

He was so taken by the whole story, he couldn't wait for that little tooth to fall out. Daddy told me later in the day that he repeated this tale to him after I had left for work.

When we picked him up from school that day, the wobbly little tooth had fallen out. Little A had kept it in his bag. "Don't forget to put it under my pillow, mommy," he said.

He went to bed without much fuss that night and was actually happy to sleep early. And later that night, the tooth fairy did come - she didn't take his tooth but she left 50 sen anyway :)

School Holidays

The last couple of weeks have been crazy.

Between work, the kids, and managing the house I've had to creatively stretch time, stealing a few hours here and there to get stuff done. And then came the week-long school holidays and that left no time for anything else.

I was consumed with guilt about not having taken the boys anywhere for the holidays. It was tough enough staying home, let alone going out anywhere with two boisterous boys! Towards the end of the holidays and against my better judgement, I decided we should go for a movie.

The boys had been to the cinema several times before and most times it's been manageable. Save for the constant runs to the bathroom.

We decided on 'Charlotte's Web' since Little A had seen the trailer on TV and wanted to watch it. "Its about a spider and a pig, mommy," he piped.

Off to the cinema we went. Bright and early on a Friday, before the crowds got there. We got our tickets and popcorn, and the mandatory visit to the bathroom before the movie. After all the ads and trailers, just as the movie was about the begin... Little J, in a whisper "Mommy, I have to go toilet". Maybe if I pretended not to hear he will forget.

"Mommy..." It got a little louder. Ignore, ignore. And then Little J started chanting, "have to got toilet... have to go toilet... have to go toilet..." Jeez. I gave in and took him.

The rest of the movie went rather well by my standards. Little A had given his opinion throughout the show, or had asked questions, and made comments, most of which were met with my "Uh-Huh." Which meant, 'OK, whatever you say...just as long as you keep quiet and not bother other people.'

After the movie we walked about the mall a little. Several times Little A thought he'd lost me, and would yell at the top of his voice, "Maaaa-mmmmeeeee!!!" People walking past wondered whose child this was, making all that ruckus. Save for those few times, which I regard to be nothing extraordinary, the day went quiet uneventful.

The next day, we took the boys on their first picnic. A lot of thought went into the planning; I was up at 5.30am on Saturday making egg sandwiches. I had the picnic mat, thermos of milo, water, wet wipes, hand cleanser, snacks, just about everything except the kitchen sink.

We woke the kids up after we loaded up our car, and promptly made our way to my sister's house. Auntie B, Uncle AD and Anya were all ready to go, so off we went!

The skies were looking a little gloomy on our way to the Lake Gardens. Undeterred, we forged ahead. I wasn't calling this off, not on the count of a few dark clouds. Heck, not after all that planning and packing!

We got there just before 8am. We found a little spot near the playground where we set our stuff down. The boys ran off immediately to the play area. Auntie B and I started laying out the food with Baby K and little Anya watching the birds and pigeons around us. It was turning out to be quite fun.

About 30 minutes later, Auntie B and I decided to send Daddy and Uncle AD on an errand - to get us some nasi lemak Tanglin.

The boys took a break from playing to have some egg sandwich and milo, while Auntie B and I had a tete-a-tete. Halfway through having fun, we felt a few drops of rain on our head. Before we knew it, more drops! Next thing we knew, we were grabbing and packing up everything we had in sight, and running to the gazebos nearby.

Daddy and Uncle AD had just bought the nasi lemak, and was coming back when the rain started. Daddy brought with him umbrellas and promptly took us all back to the car. And just in time too. Once we got in, it rained cats and dogs!

We went back to Auntie B's place, and had our nasi lemak on the balcony, while the kids played and watched Hi-5 on TV. It was nice to enjoy the rain indoors while we chatted the morning away.

Well, at least we got an hour of picnicking in before we got rained out. One thing for sure, we'll attempt it again soon - possibly the next school holidays?

Cameron Highlands

I love Cameron Highlands.

When I was little, our family used to spend every Christmas vacation up in the highlands. We'd go in a big group and stay in a colonial bungalow. We would have warm scones with fresh strawberry jam for tea, followed by piping hot steamboat for dinner. The objective was to lepak and eat.

Wanting my kids to have a similar experience, I surfed the net looking for a bungalow with a big enough garden for the kids to run and play. Then I found Hilltop. It was exactly what I had in mind. The housekeeper, Mrs Chong, is a great cook and she makes fantastic scones.

We stayed three nights and it wasn't enough. We'll be going back again this year end.

Happy Birthday Little A!

Little A was born exactly six years ago yesterday.

I recall how we had anticipated the birth of our firstborn with delight and trepidation. Two carefree adults thrown into the tumultuous world of parenthood, armed with stacks of "How To..." parenting books. You'd think after six years, and two kids later, we've got this parenting thing down pat. Hah! I say again - just when you think they grow out of a stage, they get into another. It's constant and never-ending.

We love our kids, they are our pride and joy. As any parent will tell you, there's probably very little what we wouldn't do for them. Parenting is a journey and we are still learning. We have more fun these days because we are now more tolerant (have learnt to ignore whining and wailings) and patient (desensitized to whining and wailings).

Happy Birthday Little A, we love you!

My Friend Kash

I can't exactly remember when Kash and I became friends. It seemed like a long time ago though.

Kash was the one person I would call my best friend during those schooling years. As cliche as it sounds, she was there each and every time I called or popped in unannounced to tell of yet another one of my juvenile relationship break ups. Or after I've had a yelling match with my father or suffered any teenage troubles on the home front.

I could talk for hours on the phone with Kash, and she would just be there listening, often saying little, if anything. I took comfort in knowing she was at the end of the line, empathizing and saying just the right things at the right time. Kash was already practising active listening long before the days I even knew what it meant.

We continued being friends through college but we lost touch a couple of years later. Kash went on to make a life in the US, while I was back here - on opposite sides of the world. During this time, she was always in my thoughts but because we both were so caught up with things we needed to get done, we barely kept in contact.

Kash came back six weeks ago.

I saw her last about six years ago, after I had Little A. Between then and this visit, so much time had passed. I have had two more kids since, she's just had a baby. She's just given up her job to be a stay-at-home mom; I've just gone back to working part-time.

Whilst it seems like our lives are on different planes, timezones, phases - literally worlds apart, we still have our friendship. And that will see us through it all. Like a friend once said, "We haven't grown older, we've just grown up."

I'm Falling. . .

Something really embarrassing happened to me today.

I had just parked my car, and I was walking to the place I will be working at this couple of months. Not but 20 steps later, I felt myself buckle (thanks to the uneven pavement and my heels, not to mention the what-felt-like-a-50-kg notebook bag), and before I quite knew what was happening, I found myself sprawled by the pavement. Several people turned to look... I turned lobster red....

No sooner had I stumbled, tripped and fallen, I got up, dusted myself and pretended like nothing had happened.

This brought me back to the time I did the same unglamorous thing in the heart of 'glamorous' Bangsar. It happened in a split second, and I was all over the pavement. Unfortunately, that time, I had hurt my ankle and couldn't get up at lightning speed. Still, I pretended like I was looking for something and sat on the ground while I tried to save whatever face I had left!

My Little J does that. Not only does he look like me, he inherited my defective gene of tripping on any type of flooring.

When he was barely two, he fell and slammed his face somewhere - I'm not sure on what exactly. This cracked his four front teeth. Over time, these pearly whites broke, and slowly ate away. Today, at almost four, he has lost almost all of these teeth. He looks adorable still but you should see the problem he encounters biting on an apple. He has to gnaw on it with his gigi taring. Quite a sight.

He's still tripping all over the place. Falling in malls, in school, in the playground, and just about everywhere else. Hopefully, he will grow out of this stage. Otherwise, he'll end up like me - having to master the act of pretending to look for things he konon dropped - by roadsides, in parking lots, and in people's houses. Sigh.

Coming Full Circle - Almost

Funny how life gets.

I recently met up with a couple of friends from secondary school, and Wham! it hit me like a ton of bricks how old I really am. Well, not old old, just many years - almost 20 - had passed between us. Yet, it appears like nothing has really changed.

We all look the same. Someone commented how even our hairstyles hadn't changed.

That got me thinking - she thinks it hasn't changed but it had. Since then I've had hair that was short, medium length, the bob, permed, ionic-permed super straight, wavy, bobbed again, short again and now - very short. Coming almost full circle.

For every stage in my life, I've had a different hairstyle.

It was short in school because it was unruly and so easier to manage short. When I was in college, it was mid-length. When I went to the US, getting a haircut was expensive. And so, I had it grow out. And it grew - longer and longer. Of course, that also kept me really warm and cosy. I didn't have to wash it often so it became gorgeous (if I may say so myself!) The only snag was the static I had to deal with in the winter. Some days it took more cajoling to keep it from looking like I was caught in a Van de Graaf generator.

Coming back home, I had it snipped off again - just below the ears. The humidity made primping and keeping it in order a nightmare. Besides who needed to spend hours on hair before work when I could catch a few more zzz's.

I had it permed once. What a disaster! Had it cut immediately the next day. For those who don't know me well - I have very thick hair. Every stylist in every hair salon that I've ever been to has commented on this.

"Wah, so much hair hoh?"

"Aiyoh, your hair so thick ah?"

"Phooey-sheh! Hoh toh tau fatt aaaa..."
(translation - "%#@^&*+! Why did you have to pick me to cut your hair?!"

Anyway, you get the picture.

I experimented with a few styles - sometimes it would seem like I liked my hair long, others I would have it cut off. When it gets pass the ears, my hair then starts to take on a life of its own. It starts growing in all directions. Some people call this "wavy", I call it "crazy".

I picked up scuba diving in 1995. Since I was going to the pool to practise breathing under water, I was also bleaching my hair. It turned light brown and then started to look really lifeless, like hair on one of those mannequins you see in the store.

And so - hack! hack! hack! it became short once again. Years passed, and I thought I might have finally found the short hairstyle I could grow old with. But this was not to be - I met the love of my life. The feminine side possessed me and I had to have long hair again!

Thankfully, I had the patience this time to grow it out - fighting wind, weather and all the elements. It grew to a beautiful length and to show it off, I had it all tied and gelled up for my wedding day.... go figure.

Baby Boy Number One, Little A was born soon after. Between nursing, changing diapers, bathing, burping, and playing with him, who had the time to care for the hair? It was tied or clipped up mostly. After living like this for a couple of month, I thought one of those fancy ionic perms would do the trick. After all, straight hair was easier to manage mah.

Stingy ole' me decided that I wasn't going to pay RM800 for one of those ionic perms. So, I went to see Rina at my regular upstairs-in-a-shoplot beauty 'parlour'. EEEkkkkk... I didn't get an ionic perm, I got IRONED. What used to be my hair now lay straight like a rod. It was so smooth and straight, an ant would probably slide right off my head if it ever landed there. Serves me right for not going to one of those fancy hair salons.

Deciding that style wasn't for me, I had it all chopped off. It fell down like a tree, landing on the floor with a thud!

Since then - after Baby Boy Number Two, Little J, and recently Little Girl Number One, Baby K - I've decided to keep it very short. Short works best - no fuss, and no hair products. After all, I am expected to look like I've just come out of a wind tunnel since I am constantly running after three kids!

Baby K